day 16

i got a case of the "lazies" last night and ended up borrowing an idea from my friend, jen. Roxy swapped out all of our christmas stockings last night for our underwear! he's such a cheeky monkey!

although it wasn't an original idea, it gets huge points for being hilarious to a four year old! i even added a little animal print boxer for Roxy! jack was instantly very concerned about where our stockings had gone, hoping Roxy left them behind so they will be filled in a couple of weeks! 

today was another no nap day for anyone, the baby only took one nap and was a hysterical zombie by 7. at this rate i am never going to get anything done during the day and am going to have to stay up even later at night to complete the tasks i usually jam out while you're taking an afternoon siesta. you little creeps. i suppose the up side is that vivian crashes hard and fast at night. 

i snuck in and took this picture last night because its rare to catch her being still. look at those little pink fingernails! i took her on saturday to my nail salon to have her nails polished and tiny snow flakes put on her thumbs. she sat so still and did such a good job, i could hardly believe it. they were pretty much dry so we ran to target. target from allure nails is one stop light and about three minutes away. i parked the car and she said "oh no, i will just kiss it. oops." 

she falls down all of the time and kisses every boo boo. i thought nothing about it until i opened her door and she shoved her thumb in my face and said "i am very sorry. get me out." apparently, the rhinestones on her thumbs were more than she could handle and that little shit scraped them off- along with all of the polish. i could have screamed! but then i remembered you were just two and we have plenty more nail salon experiences ahead of us. *sigh* at least the other eight still look okay!

its daddy's turn tonight. i have a date with a bottle of wine and some wrapping paper. (yes, an entire bottle! i need no comments from the peanut gallery!)

day 15?

its been a cold and rainy day here on ashland avenue, perfect for napping and yet some how, no one took one today. i am convinced that vivian runs on a different frequency than the rest of us, but giving up naps at age two is simply not acceptable. i still like to take them! i keep reminding you all to relish these days, for this is as good as its ever going to get! we provide everything for you, you have no worries, no cares, so much freedom, so much time! life is pretty sweet as a toddler. just look at the elfin' antics your parents are willing to do for you!

daddy said he was going for a "romeo and juliet" sorta theme. (i didn't get that at all! but whateves!) our new, old girl elf is sitting in the dining room chandelier and Roxy is climbing up into it. i think your dad has a thing with chandeliers maybe? 

tonight is my turn and i have been thinking about it all day. i have a little something fun up my sleeve. i am really feeling the pressure since most of my friends think it peaked with the monster truck mechanic. i will not be defeated at a game i invented! 

my long time friend john sherman and his lovely wife, erin, hand delivered their special holiday caramels this evening! i honestly can't think of the last time i saw john, but he faithfully sends me this holiday crack. i have a serious problem with this sweet goodness. they are best right out of the freezer and i have gone to such lengths to protect them, that i hide them in the freezer, disguised as other things. i won't even share them with my children. does that make me a bad mother? no, but maybe a little bit stingy. i think the candy man upped my dosage this year so i might share. but probably not. i am happy to report, that john is every bit as much fun as i remembered and i can't wait to see them again. 

off to get down on some elfin' magic and eat about a half a pound of caramelized sugar. i love the holidays! 

"we elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup." - Buddy the elf

i don't know what day it is

i have lost track of what day it is, i just know that it feels like we have been doing this for a very long time with no end in sight. i've spoken about intentions previously in this blog and i had the best of intentions to do something fabulous last night. luckily, grandma slipped a special bonus elf into the diaper bag yesterday to help me out. as she was unpacking boxes from the move to springfield, she unearthed an elf very similar to ours. i love how everything from the 60's and 70's is now called "vintage" but this little elf is looking pretty old. Roxy is a near exact replica of this elf, only the ancient one has real elf feet and a green collar. i placed them on the mantel last night, locked in a christmas embrace. if i had my wits about me, i would have found some mistletoe to hang above them. (is mistletoe one word? or two, like camel toe?)

i got lucky and we did not need the mistletoe, the skirt was enough of a clue for jack to conclude that Roxy had returned from the north pole with a girlfriend. or an androgynous friend that likes to wear skirts. at any rate, this will either be a really good thing, giving us new scenarios to come up with for a pair of elves or its just going to continue to make this game more challenging for your parents. either way, welcome to the roth household, i am glad old lady grandma held on to you all of these years. 

i had a junior league meeting tonight, it was our christmas meeting and i was pleasantly surprised at how many followers Roxy has! my friends are really bored or our little elf antics are that entertaining! tonight was my last december meeting for league and i can happily announce that this is my final year as an active member! hooray! the "justice league" as everyone in this household likes to call it, is like going to the gym. i kinda moan and groan about going, its on a monday night, most months its already dark by the time i get there and i have to put on actual human clothes, no sweat pants. once i get there, i remember why i joined in the first place as i am greeted with all the warm smiles and friendly faces. then i feel really good about brushing my hair and getting out of my sweats! its nice to have that kind of a fellowship with women, working towards the same goal of betterment for our community. i think the reason we have so many Roxy readers from this group is because so many of my league friends can relate to daily life in the roth household. all of us have a shared goal to make this life the best it can be and have found communion in that. (did that just sound like i was going to ask them to drink the koolaid next?) we are wives, mothers, daughters, sisters and most importantly, friends. i have walked this path with the same amazing group of girls since the very beginning. i have an outstandingly diverse and hilarious provisional class. i couldn't have hand selected a better group. although i am anxious to move forward and close this chapter of my life, its been an amazing ride and i am ever so thankful for being a part of an organization that gets me and has provided me with so many great friendships. its been a great reminder to me, how you get out of things what you put into them. the years i have enjoyed the most are the ones when i served on the board or in some larger capacity. truly amazing women, super heroes in our own right. you will never regret having a service oriented life. 

enough of the junior league soap box. 

as i was driving home tonight i noted a couple of things about christmas lights and i thought it was important to share with you, after all, this book is for you to know about yourselves and your mother. i noted that you can, in fact, have too many christmas lights, clark. purple is not a good christmas light color per se, its more halloween or mardi gras. additionally, i prefer the twinkle of a halogen bulb to led but if you are going to pick the led, you need to select the warm hue instead of the cool, more blue bulb. 

i think that is all i have to say about exterior illumination. carry on. 

other funny things about today; i told uncle tim that i would take dexter for the week so we could work on kennel training. tim's house is about 800 square feet so no matter where you put him, tim could hear him whining. we have put his crate in the basement and can hardly hear him. vivian and dex have bonded, she runs through the house and he happily chases her. i spent my day cleaning up baby spit up and puppy messes all over the floor. i do not recommend having a new puppy and a new human at the same time. i was at my wits end by 5 o'clock. 

the blue heeler breed is a cattle dog and its nature is to herd things. i can happily announce we have no genetic misfires, as dex spent most of his morning corralling my children. he's a smart little stinker. i heard the two of you calling for me from vivian's room -- "mommy, come save us!" i thought you were playing your usual game of hiding in the closets, so imagine my surprise when i came in to find this:

herding dog alright. . . right into the chair. 

i may need to have this dog around more often to get vivian to stay in one place. he's a little ankle biter and that is how he moves the kids where he wants them to go. its pretty funny. on the flip side, buggy has figured out how to get rid of him as well. when she is tired of him, she takes him to the top of the stairs. he is really good at going up, not so good at coming down. it will be fun to see which becomes the smarter of the two. 

daddy's turn tonight and i am so happy about it. until tomorrow. . .

12 & 13

to say that we have run out of creative juices, would be a mild understatement. i worked this weekend so daddy held down the fort leaving everyone exhausted by last night. on friday night it was my turn and i had put out my feather trees, i thought this would be a good place for Roxy to gallop through the "forrest!"

your dad had a great idea last night but whiffed a little bit on the execution. you guys didn't really get it.

he was supposed to be writing a letter to santa but the ads were a bit confusing. i feel like we are going to get our holiday mojo back this week. we have had lots of parties and went to the plaza to meet grandma and grandpa for lunch today, we are all just a little tired. i've been hesitant to steal anyone's ideas but i might concede and just borrow a few. 

ps- uncle tim has decided to name the dog, dexter. he seems to be responding to it pretty well! vivian is like lenny around the dog, she isn't really afraid of his puppy teeth at all and there is a pretty good chance she might crush him if not closely supervised! 

day eleventy

i knew it would happen sooner or later, that night where we stared at each other wonder where to put that damn elf. last night was that night. daddy was up to bat and we kinda meandered around the kitchen finding weak spots to put Roxy. it was close to the end of the week, we both were exhausted and creativity was not at an all time high.

Roxy ended up here:

on top of the christmas tree, in a place where our angel should reside. (i can't find her!) you both seemed excited and we were relieved. we have concluded from last night's venture that we might have come out of the gate a little hot and set the bar a bit high for ourselves. after all, we still have two weeks left! it requires thought and planning, both of which we are sometimes short on.

i failed to mention a little back story on the reindeer tagging situation. i went all over town looking for overhead projection markers to write on the glass. every where i went sales people looked at me like i was insane! i guess with computers and dry erase boards NO ONE uses them anymore. my bad! i bought dry erase markers and i am hoping for the best! surely hillyard makes something that can remove it from glass. 

today was a really fun day, you had your christmas program this morning. like an idiot i forgot my camera but was able to take a couple of lousy pictures with my phone!

these people clearly did not forget their cameras!

yes, we did have a toddlers and tiara's moment. yes, i gave vivian a blow out. and yes, she has the biggest bow on that stage. 

i have been plotting something in my head all summer, a christmas gift for my brother. its not often i do really bold gift choices, but i thought this year i would. it was a leap of faith but i bought him a puppy!

we had a blue heeler growing up and really loved that dog. i thought it might be a good type for his lifestyle and let's face it, there was a 50-50 chance it was going to end up being my dog, so i thought i would pick something i would like too! i am happy to report after the initial shock, he appeared to be pleased with his new pet. he has been mulling it over for a long time but just hadn't pulled the trigger. i was happy to do it for him, that's what siblings are for, right? just shoving you right off into the abyss. we will see how tonight goes with new puppy and what he decides to name him. i'm pulling for comet, ralphie or clark. such a fun gift to give! 

its my turn with Roxy tonight and after an entire day of sneaking around and creativity, i am zapped. hoping something brilliant comes to me in the bathtub. only 14 more nights to go. . .

day 10

i now know for certain that Roxy has taken on a life of his own. at 8pm this evening i received a text message from my mom wonder where he was this morning and why i hadn't posted anything. well, mother, in addition to my stay-at-home mom gig today, i worked my OTHER job tonight and had a husband who was in connecticut overnight. its been a little hectic around here.

last night was actually rothy's turn but i went ahead and did him a solid. it was late and kinda last minute but this is what i came up with:

he went elf tagging this morning when he got home. i thought it was kind of funny until i saw vivian staring at the pictures. i did the ones in the hallway too:

now i am afraid vivian might think its a good idea to write on our pictures. i spent the rest of the day taking back my "work" telling them how naughty he was and that if he pulled another stunt like that he would be banished back to the north pole! oops. my bad! 

roth's on deck, i am anticipating manly things tonight. 

p.s. how cute were daddy and aunt jackie? 

day 9

well, i knew it was going to be hard to compete with the previous evening's show stopper from daddy so i thought i would keep it simple last night. and by keep it simple i mean, get someone else to do the work for me.

if there is something i have learned from my overachiever friends, its that they are great at delegating and sharing the work load. i was fortunate enough yesterday to have our beloved miss allison on board. she is our amazing babysitter and my right hand gal through out the week. you guys love her because she plays games with you, lets you play with playdough and even lets you get out the arts and crafts tubs! i love her because she is willing to do this kinda shit for me. we are pretty lucky to have her around. (no, she doesn't have a last name, she works 70 hours a week for us and we pay her a million dollars, for those of you trying to get her number!) as i was leaving for work i asked her if she wanted to do a little paper chain arts and crafts for me. she asked how long it needed to be, so i eyeballed the ceiling and said "from chandelier to chandelier." this morning we found a very acrobatic Roxy suspended mid-air over the island looking just like this:

oh no! wait, that is just your dad being an a$$hole, drinking a beer and trying to ruin my picture. 

it looked more like this:

it was fun to have his presence around all day but he hung low enough i kept hitting my head against him. it was enough to freak you two out and think i was going to ruin his magic! which might come in handy tonight because i am awfully tired. i have to confess after spending the last week with this damn elf, last night was the first night that i noticed his head could move! which makes him even creepier, because now i am certain he's looking at me all of the time. head on a swivel, didn't see that coming. 

both of the girls have recycled colds again, or maybe its a completely new virus floating around this house. nonetheless, i am so over the sickness, the snotty noses and coughing and its only december! i guess if you have more than a pair of children there is a good chance someone is always going to be sick. blah. so much for cry it out, poor little e had a stuffy nose all night that kept the both of us up. i need Roxy to become a wet nurse instead of flying off to the north pole every night. make himself useful.

it doesn't feel like christmas until i gorge myself on topsy's popcorn and watch national lampoons christmas vacation. i am lucky we hit up the mall yesterday for the popcorn and abc family is having the movie on tonight. i am letting jack watch it for the first time since its the pg rated version with all of the really good language taken out. 

ah, merry christmas. merry christmas, merry christmas, merry christmas, kiss my ass. kiss his ass. kiss your own ass. happy hanukkah.