monkey on my back

there is a whole ridiculous list of things i said i would never do as a parent BEFORE i was actually a parent. one of those being, i would never let my child sleep with me. NEVER. its funny how all that changes at the end of a long, exhausting day when you are out of "the fight." i'm too tired to argue, too tired to get up and send jack back to his bed and too tired to explain why a tornado is not going to take our house away every time it storms. some nights, most nights, in fact, its easier to tuck you in next to me and fall asleep. randy prefers falling asleep to the television and i have to have complete darkness and silence; so this scenario has been working out alright for us lately. daddy gets to watch horrible movies like "the fast and the furious," jack gets to feel like all is right in his little bubble and i don't have to listen to randy snore or wrangle jack back into his own bed.

lately, however, jack has become something of a velcro child, adhering himself to my back like a little capuchin monkey. he wants to sleep on my pillow and as close as humanly possible to me. i am not sure if its in light of all the recent tornado coverage we've been watching or that i let you watch the entire thriller video this week? (parental fail!) you weren't a huge fan of michael jackson turning into a werewolf, but found the dancing zombies hilarious. how was i supposed to see that coming? you're such a mature little package, i some times forget that things might frighten you. . . or not. . . because i remember the first time i saw that video and the creepy dead guy with oozing green coming from his mouth was pretty scary, not so much funny! anyways, between jack and the surprise guest, i am being made uncomfortable by TWO children now at night. the baby is so busy at night, there is certainly a party of some sort going on in there. if its current night owl tendencies are any indication of what is to come, i am going to be up most of the night with an active newborn. i suppose none of it really matters since i am up every two hours to go to the bathroom anyways! there truly is no rest for the wicked!

also this week, we went to omaha for a quick over night trip and to the zoo. we swam in the hotel pool the night before, wearing everyone out. you two and daddy fell asleep at 9:30 and i laid there awake until at least one in the morning. i could hear each of you breathing, vivian rolling into the side of her pack and play, jack talking in his sleep and daddy snoring. it was a long miserable night for me and this new found pregnancy "symptom" of restless legs kept me up. i'm not really even sure how or why it happens but it is miserable. i will add it to the long, tragic list i am keeping to justify why you all should pay for my plastic surgery later in life-- i have sacrificed and suffered for you. *wink*

the zoo was great, we picked a glorious day to go. it was 80 degrees, sunny and breezy. beautiful. we all had a really great time. no matter how old i get or how many times i have seen some of these amazing animals, i can't help but be captivated by their splendor. my favorite part was the bottom of the desert dome, it is a creepy, crawly kinda place where things go bump in the night. there were several different species of bats, freaked the hell out of your dad, but i found them fascinating. its a rare thing to see them doing what they do in a some what natural habitat. i also really loved the swamp area, it was strait out of the bayou, complete with an albino alligator. amazing. you all seemed to really love the penguins the best, there was one in particular that put on a spectacular show. he was swimming extremely fast and twisting, turning and jumping out of the water. a show off indeed and he was impressive.

i was the first that day to wear out and by the time we hit the gorilla house i was ready to hit the road. i had waddled far enough for the day. after five wonderful hours of fun, we hopped in the car and returned home. you two slept the entire two hour journey, a rarity because you both usually refuse to sleep in the car.

it was a thing of silent, blissful beauty. . . if only my nights were equally as tranquil.

charismatic character

i just got out of the bathtub and read a snippit in a magazine about character and charisma. its funny how things stick with you and can sum up a moment. previous to this bathtub soak, we had gone to a family dinner at the benton club, hosted by sara stein and carrie murphey. its intent was to do something family oriented benefiting the recent victims of the horrific tornadoes that just struck joplin, missouri. when i got the invitation i was so struck by this kind hearted gesture, i immediately told sara we would be there. she said she was prompted to do this, because of how close this tragedy hit to home, not only by proxy, but it is a community not unlike our own.

as you might imagine, tonight was a bit chaotic with at least 10 children under the age of five, but the food was good, the company even better and the cause so worthy. it was laid back and fun and i sat there admiring my friend, sara. here is the thing about her, and i imagine by the time you two read this, there will be a long history with "miss sara," but she is really like no other person i have met. when we began our friendship, i thought she was such a breath of fresh air to our sleepy little circle. she is bubbly, full of life and i always call her the cruise director. she's a real "the more the merrier" kind of person and embraces everyone. her personality is effervescent, contagious and enthusiastic- she is without a doubt, charismatic.

this article i was reading spoke about how character and charisma are two separate things, although a lot of times they appear to go hand in hand. you naturally assume that a person who lights up a room is full of "do the right thing" character, but such is not always the case. this really got me thinking about the two (three) of you and your stamp on the world. its really charming to be the kind of person who's light fills the room, but its so much more important to be the kind of person who shines brightly when no one is looking. sara is without a doubt this kind of person and i hope so badly, that you all will be just as sparkly.

my mom always said "its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice." if she said it once, she said it a thousand times and i don't really think it hit home until i was near my thirties. charisma will take you to a level or height, but character will keep you there or bring you down.

be charismatic in your personality and strong in your character, it will serve you well.