you can play. carefully.

after spending the last four (five-ish) days as a single parent, i was ready to get the hell out of this house (alone!) today. hillyard has a new soap line and your dad has been traveling spreading proper sanitation cheer. saturdays are usually reserved for sweatpants, but i happily went in and worked today. it was a long day of hair bending and at the end of those days, i am always so happy that i don't work full time. (at least away from the home full time!) your dad was anxiously watching the ku game when i returned and we had decided to go to the the "family fun night" at arising stars, where bug is now taking gymnastics. after much go between, we conceded daddy would stay home with the baby, and thing one and two would go with me. baby eleanor had immunizations yesterday and has been a little cranky, a little feverish. i thought this was kind of a golden opportunity for me. after all, this entire week i have been the warden and i was excited about being the FUN parent for a change.

we signed our life away with the release form, paid our $13 and were ready to have at it. i looked around at all the people and figured out this was a death trap of obstacles and jumping contraptions. you two were SO excited and having SO much fun. vivian was showing jack the ropes and even he, my sheepish child, was anxious to jump off, climb up and bounce! i will admit, there was a certain level of difficulty keeping a watchful eye on both of you. vivian was a bit enamored by the bounce house and if i wasn't paying super close attention, i would see a blonde flash of pigtails sprinting in that direction. we were having a really good time, adhering to the rules, being cautious of others. i kept thinking to myself "this is effing genius, best $13 spent EVER!" 

and then. . .

then, there we were. i was standing in front of those bi-level beam "things" - one of you on each side, your small hand in mine. i marveled in my creative mothering brilliance! this is great! you both are going to hang from those bar thing-ies, pull your flexible little bodies up and brace your toes and this is going to be so awesome for you! we watched the 10 year old girl in front of us, in her sparkling pink and lime green leotard. she was confident, talking about competition and how much practice she had done. she threw her hands in the air, took off running, leaped to the bars and did some fancy maneuvers. it was impressive. 

what wasn't so impressive, was her dismount. 

she landed-ish. 

in kind of a sitting, laying-ish position. 

she sat up, reached her arm out and i couldn't help but notice, it was bending IN THE WRONG DIRECTION! not in a cool, double jointed sort of a way; more like in a "shit is broken" sort of a way. 

i am not sure if i clenched your hands tighter or dropped them all together; but i remember thinking to myself, "you must look away!" 

but i couldn't.

and then i felt like one of those dirt bags, who holds up traffic, craning their necks to see what happened. it was awful. i felt the pit of my stomach drop and part of me wanted to run to get our coats and tell them we would never be back. ever. 

the girl was crying and luckily there were a few parents in the medical profession that came to the rescue. within a few minutes i had gathered myself and decided it would be best if we did something other than stand there and gawk. you both were quick to run to the bounce house and neither of you ever mentioned a word of the girl that lie on the floor sobbing. 

like. it. never. happened. 

that, is just how kids are and it baffles and awes me.

i watched you like a hawk in the bounce house, fearful that every jump would end up with an orthopedic visit. good Lord. it took ME a good thirty minutes to settle myself; meanwhile, you were jumping off of everything, climbing to the top of the mats and losing yourselves in a sea of foam blocks, having an absolute ball. just as i had calmed myself down, vivian was in the pit crawling her way out, when a 12 year old girl comes swinging tarzan-style off of a rope and lands directly on my child! vivian clawed her way out from under the girl, yelled at her and went on with her business.

in those moments, it dawned on me that you are going to get hurt some times and there is not a damn thing i can do about it. i never baby any of you; in fact, i probably do the opposite. we constantly tell you to "shake it off!" one of these times we will say that, and you, too, will stand up shaking a limb in the wrong direction. but tonight, tonight was a whole different taste of freedom and ability, not just the occasional learning accident. we went and conquered the gym tonight but i am all too aware this will not always be the case. 

on my way home my mind was racing of all the sports you could play and possibly get hurt, when i determined it might be best for you all to be mathletes. i am not sure my nerves can handle gymnastics, football, wrestling, your teenage years or even your own free will. however, like many a mother that has gone before me, i am going to do my best to silence the voices in my head. 

i am going to let you play. 

*sigh* 

thoughts and things

it's only taken me 18 days into the new year to sit down and publish my first entry in our 2012 rothschild blog. it's not that i have had lack of material or inspiration, more or less, i have been lacking motivation. after plugging away night after night with that elf, my creativity and desire to do a nightly project has dwindled. i was in the bathtub tonight reviewing things and i remembered a post from grandma and grandpa's friend, pam young. her mother kept a journal for a while titled "thoughts and things." i think that is such a straight forward approach to all of this chronicling. so here i am tonight, without anything particularly amusing or inspiring but wanted to get down a few "thoughts and things" to kick the year off.

thus far, its been an eventful year with little or no down time. it seems that the bulk of our friend's birthdays are between the months of november and february so every other weekend has been filled with some sort of dinner party or outing. we have literally been eating and celebrating for three months now. your dad's birthday was on sunday and after years of swinging and missing with the gifts, i finally hit a home run. he has a HUGE melon and i special ordered some big daddy raybans that actually fit! its a christmas birthday miracle! all he needs is a mustache and he would totally look like he belonged on reno 911.

this new year also has meant new teachers, new classes, new schedules, new activities. both thing one and thing two are swimming and vivian is taking gymnastics. two year old gymnastics might be the funniest thing ever. its like herding cats; each with their own agenda and short attention span. every once in a while one of them will notice their mother's sitting up in the stands and race across the mats to wave "hello!" its hilarious. its a small class, for containment purposes, with six tiny two year olds. i had to wait for someone to move out for vivian to move in. this finally happened and in the irony, our vivian is replacing another vivian! it was meant to be! at our first class, buggy was going last so they could show her the ropes. by the end of class she was leading the pack! she is absolutely fearless and wants to jump off of everything and anything. as she was not-so-patiently awaiting her turn for the balance beam, she hopped on behind a tiny brunette. this girl was not going fast enough for her, so she hopped off, ran around the girl and jumped on in front of her. i would expect nothing less from her. i don't even remember her walking, she went straight from crawling to running.

she is totally going to be pissed about this comparison later in life, but the resemblance is too funny not to note.

jack's doing well in swimming, he's the strongest in his pack of three, but still only feels secure with the life jacket on and his hands firmly on the side of the pool. vivian is afraid of nothing and jack is cautious about everything. he will make a fine big brother and protect her from herself some day! ha!

baby eleanor continues to be a dream baby, she is happy most days, despite her crummy sleeping pattern. she is content to just cat nap all day long, which means i accomplish very little. today, for the first time in a very long time, i just held her while she took her morning nap. we rocked and i looked at her tiny little angel face. if anything i am certain about, its that the three of you have already gotten cuter this year! eleanor thinks jack is the funniest person in our family and he can make her belly laugh like no one else. there is certainly a special bond between jack and his stunt double. she is looking more and more like him all of the time. that is when she doesn't have her tongue sticking out like gene simmons. she discovered it over the weekend and its been sticking out ever since.

also this year seemed to be a great opportunity for new germs. i am not certain which carrier monkey brought it home but its managed to work its way through everyone but your iron clad father. i can only be puked on and have my face sneezed into so many times before you all infect me. another joy of motherhood. and ironically, you all seem to begin to feel better just about the time i start to feel lousy. this is probably my fate for many a year to come, but i get really sick of snot.

one last funny thing before i end my first entry; i have to recount this story about jack. i had a hell of weekend with my girlfriends- a pub crawl, spa day, shopping, dinner and girl slumber party a few weeks ago. it was a real commitment to fun, but i came home on sunday pretty exhausted and ready to go to bed. we've been playing bedroom shuffle trying to find the perfect balance of who-goes-where lately, and on this particular sunday jack ended up in bed with me while daddy crashed on the couch. he some times talks himself to sleep or tries to talk to me to avoid sleep. he was laying there and i was checking my phone when out of no where, he yells "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" this was one of those parenting moments where i should have kept it together and scolded him but i couldn't help myself from hysterically laughing. when i finally got it together and told him that wasn't very appropriate and asked where he had heard it, he simply said "you know, that guy marty mcfly? you know, calvin klein?" and i was like "WHAT?" he proceeds to tell me about watching all THREE back to the future movies with old lady grandma while we were out to dinner in kansas city. "mom, its so funny. marty says the funniest stuff. what the hell is going on?"

indeed, jack. what the hell is going on? just logging some memories with my mom. she probably let him drink a can of coke too, but its all good, because he will remember that night, hanging out with her on the sofa feeling like a big person with grandma.

ah, i am looking forward to many more of these moments, these "thoughts and things" this year.

the time of my life

it's befitting of my procrastinating nature to conclude my year of blogging on january 3rd. i kept trying to find a quiet moment to wrap things up the last few days, but the bigger you all become, the busier it is around our house. i can only imagine how things are going to be when that sweet mini van in the driveway becomes a shuttle bus to all of your extra curricular activities.

it's hard to find the words to sum up a year in the life. i know you are all thinking this is a perfectly appropriate time to use "seasons of love" from rent, and you would be right.

525,600 minutes. five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear. how do you measure- measure a year? in daylights, in sunsets. in midnights, in cups of coffee. in inches, in miles. in laughter, in strife. . .

its also measured in pounds, in ounces, 6.13 of them to be exact. its measured in sad days, july 22nd and in happy days, july 26th, october 5th and october 28th. its measured in moments of freedom. moments of bliss. moments that scare the shit out of you. it's measured in hospital visits, parties, morning runs, dinner around the island. it's measured by how many days your dad is out of town and how many minutes until he returns. its measured in gallons; mine in the bath tub, your dad's in his fight with the swimming pool. its measured in mortgage payments, target trips, boxes of diapers, countless pairs of shoes, and endless laundry.

but, how about love?

yep. how about LOVE! there is a lot of that around here. your father and i strive to create a happy, fun and safe environment for you, but things, life, isn't always perfect. i hope some day when you read back over these pages, you will be able to see a constant in our lives. there is a lot of love in this house! an immeasurable amount. the three of you have made my heart grow in ways i never dreamed of. i am more patient. i am kinder. i am more sensitive. i am less selfish. i learn things new things about myself all of the time because of you and i am forever grateful. i have been blessed with more than i deserve, thank you God.

there is no real good segway to the next song pulling at my heart strings tonight so i will just go for it.


"now i've had, the time of my life
no, i never felt like this before
yes i swear, its the truth
and i owe it all to you."

it's from the movie dirty dancing, and while that song will always remind me of a certain sixth grade slumber party at neely lyons house, it has begun to have new meaning. i can honestly say, that i have had the time of my life, and i owe it all to the four of you. your dad is a really incredible guy and none of this wonderful life we call ours would be possible without him. i love you guys so much!

i hope this is the beginning of many books for the three of you. one of my friend's called this blog "wildly entertaining" and i hope that "wildly entertaining" is synonymous with "really nice nursing home!" please remember that i poured my heart out to you this past year in hopes that you put me away some place lovely. i managed, in between raising you all, to squeak out 63 posts this year. that number could have been better, but it also could have been worse. despite my growing hatred for Roxy the last month, i have nothing but gratitude for that little stuffed elf that motivated me to keep writing. for all the pomp and circumstance leading up to it, i have failed to post about christmas so here is a brief overview:

we spent christmas eve morning and lunch with the roth side of the family. we went to grandbob and ya ya's house for lunch and presents. it was like a controlled explosion! eleanor was uber cranky and napped most of the time and the two of you ran around like crazy people. you managed to weasel your uncle bill into opening things i told you not to open. you can tell he only has one child, he totally fell for the bum rush!

christmas eve night we hosted grandma's family and had dinner. it was a good time, and i almost got dinner all out at the same time! i still for the life of me don't know how my grandma nancy got it all done. my dad seems to think it has something to do with her being a bit "more prepared" than i was! i am working on it dave! 

poor jack! the only boy in a sea of girls! i can relate, i was the only girl in a gaggle of boy cousins my whole life too!

christmas day is our most cherished day around here. its super laid back, we barely get out of our pajamas, if we do at all. grandma and grandpa are always here and uncle tim and dex came over for a late breakfast. its fun to stay home, without any place to go or agenda. we spent the day opening gifts, playing and napping. it was perfect! that night we had our traditional nachos navidad from taco johns and played cards after you all went to bed. its the one time a year my father participates in our gaming and i will be damned if he didn't win again. this creates all sorts of nasty looks from my mother and is really hilarious. 

my photo taking this year was non-existent. these pictures are all taken with my phone, i apologize! your dad chose very well this christmas, i was so pleasantly surprised! and uncle tim pulled the trump card again. it never fails, birthday or christmas, whatever he buys you ends up being your favorite. i think next year i will just give him my debit card and let him shop on my behalf.  

i thought it would be a nice conclusion to take your pictures just shy of the stroke of midnight on december 31, 2011. i snuck into all of your rooms and flashed a snap shot. i wanted to always remember how you looked as the world turned. blissful, sweet and calm. you were all sleeping like, well, babies! without a care in the world. i hope you always sleep so peacefully.

here's to a fantastic 2012, carrier monkeys! all of my love!


p.s. eleanor's first two teeth broke through the skin today! the nursing will probably come to a screeching hault!