mmmmmmadness

j, v & e,

(just wanted to let you know that i remembered my password tonight. high five for mommy!)

its the end of march and its been cold and grey for five months. i generally try not to complain about this kind of stuff because i live in missouri; but i am over it. i have the winter blues, in spring. it snowed all weekend, enough to accumulate and be a complete pain in the ass. i was cleaning up tonight and annie came on belting "the sun will come out tomorrow. . ." and i found myself torn between telling her to shut the fuck up and being hopeful that tomorrow IS in fact, the day the sun will come out. i changed the lyrics and poured myself a cocktail: "when i'm stuck with a day, that's grey and lonely, i just pick up my GIN and grin. . ." oh little orphan annie, i hope you are right or somebody better hide the razor blades.

the cloudy, sad skies have worn on me and i have found myself particularly unmotivated this week. i told vivian when we woke up that we were going to the gym, but eleanor was snuggled in and content and her soft cheek felt so good against my nose, i decided to savor the moment. next thing i know, vivian says, "hey, get your old lady body out of bed and let's go to the gym" just what i need- a 3 year old richard simmons screaming in my ear. i know, i am old, pip-squeak. geez.

we had a host of visitors today, all for varying reasons, but i never quite hit my stride and i am feeling guilty about that. hence the blog, i figured i could accomplish something tonight, even from my pajamas. miss allison even did the rest of our laundry yesterday, folded it and had it waiting in my room to be put away and i was so lazy today, i couldn't even check that off the list. how terrible is that? i did manage to unload the dishwasher, which is a task i usually pawn off to her. i feel like she is going to be kinda proud of me tomorrow.

your brother is spending the week with grandma and grandpa and is having so much fun he could barely be bothered to talk to me on facetime today. he did the courtesy "i miss you so much mommy, now let me talk to eleanor" after he showed me his new week-at-grandma's-loot. ah, its good to be king and i am glad he's having a good time. mom remarked that he is such a homebody and has been more interested in hanging out at their house in pajamas than going and doing stuff. (although i suspect my father has him up and dressed WITH SHOES in the morning!)

i had jack's parent teacher conferences this week and am happy to report we got all excellent marks! mrs. schmeiser noted that he is the self-appointed "class president" and THE leader of the class. she said, he must always have the best ideas because all year long he has been running the show. i was concerned there might be a bit of first born bossiness at play (something i know little about!) but she assured me kids have a way of working these things out and if they didn't like him leading, they would stop listening to him. good point, well made. perhaps you will be president some day, pal! she said you were kind and cooperative, but quite the conversationalist and your talking got in the way of listening some times. you come by it honestly, from a long line of talkers and i'd bet you a hundred that is the same thing my parents heard year after year at these conferences. i'm proud you're developing these skills!

vivian's parent teacher conference is on friday and i am anxious to go to that one. last week i got to come into the office and fill out an official state of missouri incident report! tootles, the class rabbit, bit you. again. breaking the skin on both sides of your little finger. you were more worried about not getting to feed her anymore than you were that she bit you. ah, vivian. she bit you earlier in the year and you tried to keep it secret because you had stuck your fingers in her cage, knowing you weren't supposed to and she bit you. while i don't condone bad bunny behavior, i am an animal lover and i know they typically only react and usually its a result of being provoked. i suspect you've messed with poor mrs tootles enough this year, she is slightly frightened of you. its the lenny syndrome.

vivian is now telling everyone she is 3 and a half and is planning her next birthday party. and halloween. we are always planning the next halloween around here. poor daddy wants to know why every holiday is "brought to you by tim burten" but its just how we roll. when you talk about costume planning i beam inside! jack's favorite song is "movin' out" by billy joel, which also makes me beam and last week he asked me if we could go see him in concert. i stopped what i was doing, hugged and kissed him and told him how happy that made me to hear! you actually like really good music! you'll be in a huge mess some day reliving songs of years gone by with your friends and discover that billy joel wasn't current when you were little, but more like when your mother was little. ah, sorry, kids. we all have our crosses to bare but at least you aren't listening to top forty synthesized crap, music from artist who are relevant because of their image, not the words or melody.

sweet baby eleanor is talking now- in a language none of us understand. she clearly says "hi" "daddy" and "no" but that about wraps up her english skill set. she is capable of communication, i can ask you to put something in the laundry and you will go do it but you just haven't been able to get the word out yet. pretty convenient that you have two older siblings to do all of the talking for you. "eleanor is hungry, mom" "eleanor wants a drink, mom" all the while eleanor is shaking her head in agreeance. perhaps next year when everyone is in school she will just starting speaking in paragraph form!

we've also been working with potty training and she has become quite possessive of her stool. she not only uses it to go to the bathroom but as an aid in her never ending climbing attempts. i am afraid i have another monkey on my hands. climbing up, no problem; getting down, very problematic. buggy on the other hand is jumping off of everything and just watching her land makes my old lady knees hurt. she had watch week at dance this week and she was so distracted and such a hot mess i almost didn't recognize her. she's typically so agile and fluid in her movement, it was funny to see her flailing around trying to do a somersault! looked nothing like when she dismounts off my vanity and goes straight into a forward roll and then toe touch! ah, an audience changes everything. ought to make dance recital time interesting.

in other news, its march madness which means your dad and i are burning the midnight oil and neglecting you (yeah right!) in order to catch all of the games. we managed to score some excellent tickets for the second round jayhawks game on sunday night. heart attack hawks did not disappoint with their usual bull shit move- terrible first half, showing up and winning second half. its not wonder i drink so much while watching their games. it was a good win against ol' roy and his tar heels which made it that much sweeter. your dad went straight to the airport to catch a flight to chicago and the entire north carolina team was in his terminal hopping on a chartered flight. randy gave roy a fist bump and he was gracious. i'm glad we beat him but i like that dude.

i'm now cheering for an obscure team, with a scary looking mascot, the wichita state university shockers! i even bought a hat! i don't think indiana is God's country for basketball, i think its kansas. and i love it. i love march madness. i love the possibility and fairness of it all. i love when a number 16 team that has nothing to lose, plays like a team with nothing to lose and all heart. its so fun! a sport in its truest form. just two teams, a neutral playing ground with no home court advantage. its any man's game.
mmmmmmmmadness. hope the jayhawks go all the way, daddy and i had a great time last year watching them in the final four, would be fun to do it again!

we hope you're a jayhawk but you might be better suited to be a cyclone or hurricane! :) 

i had hoped to write about some other crazy shit going on in the world but as usual, i have written myself well and feel like perhaps betting my bottom dollar on the sun coming out tomorrow ain't such a bad idea. if nothing else i have the three of you to keep me smiling. . . and if all else fails, there is a basketball game on tomorrow night! :)

p.s. i had a life changing thing happen last week; i got my very first keratin treatment and it literally changed my old lady grey, witchy hair. i know this will not be important to you 25 years from now, but i am pretty stoked about it now and thought it was blog worthy. deal with it. i am your mother and hair is important!

p.s.s. this is a super cool wall mural in the works by my friend, heather, its going to be amazing and all of your perfect little faces are going to be in there and i love it. also worthy of noting, we have already had the discussion that ONLY heather can paint on our walls. 

p.s.s.s. i literally made you "hug it out" and this picture makes me laugh. jack was pissed and pouting and little bug was so smug. 

its all about the pajamas, baby

its remarkable that every time i go to log in to blog, i have to reset my password. *sigh*

i was thinking today about blogging, not unlike i do every day, and i said to some girlfriends, "i feel like a bit of a tortured writer. i need to feel inspired to blog."

i said that. and its really not true.

in fact, i find myself inspired nearly every day to write something but i have a case of the lazies and most nights, i would really just rather take a bath and read mindless magazines than log on, remember my password, think of synonyms for words i can't spell and feel a little guilty about my run-on sentences.

but today, in that same girlfriend conversation i became more realistic about my personal expectations and gave myself a free pass to be a little self indulgent with the nightly bath tub ritual. as a stay-at-home mother, i spend my day as an indentured servant. i cook, clean, wipe noses, wipe asses, wipe the counters, answer questions, pretend to care about skylanders, pretend to know what you are drawling, pretend i don't know "where's the baby?" and i dumb it down. all day long. i spend more time on facebook than i should but some times its my only conversation with an adult and i don't give a shit if its a cyber shout out! its a lonely world some days.

and some days, its really fun, really beautiful and awe inspiring.

we have had several snow days the last few weeks and i have begun to actually look forward to them. we've spent our days being sorta productive, although we never change out of pajamas. we've made snowflakes and the most amazing indoor forts! baked cookies and huge pots of soup! organized and trashed the play room! heck, a couple of days i even vacuumed!

i've tried really hard to suck in every chilly, mind numbing moment of these days because i know soon enough i won't be included in your snow day adventures. that's such a bittersweet feeling as a mom, to think about banking moments because you're going to do exactly what i hope for you! that some day, you will grow up, utilize all of the things i have taught you and be independent!

in other thoughts and things, your dad has been traveling quite a bit lately and recently went on a wild boar hunt with his fraternity brothers. it turned out to be boar-ing, due to all of the snow and your dad drove 7 hours to sit in the cold and not shoot anything. (again!) i suppose the beer drinking and reminiscing made up for the missing bacon. i'm not 100% certain but i think your dad might be getting old. he is, after all, exactly three weeks older than me. recently he's been talking about his "thinning" hair and how expensive everything is; but the real kiss of death has been talking about gas prices and the weather. he said i don't care about those things because i am not the guy who makes the money - which also eludes to his aging. meanwhile, i am over here getting chemical peels and facials, coloring my grey hair every three weeks and wondering if i am young enough to wear neon pink every day. i am fighting and i don't think i am going to be one of those people who ages gracefully. i am 36 with a freaking baby for Christ's sake! i don't want people to think i am your grandma when you're in high school!

i've got nothing else inspiring or really worthy of being reported. just a couple of fun photos from the last few weeks. maybe i will write again soon, maybe i will take a bath, maybe i won't. always know, you do inspire me every day, in every way and that makes getting out of bed on those snowy days worth it. (even if i don't change out of my pajamas!)

p.s. i wanted to add that you will note, in most of these pictures you are wearing your pj's. here is the deal on that, its less laundry for me and the way i see it, you have an entire life time of getting up, getting dressed and ready ahead of you, so why the hell shouldn't you be super casual while you can? this is a concept my father can't wrap his brain around but makes perfect sense to me! :)