Thursday, September 29, 2011

here's the deal

here's the deal; in my mind, i blog every single night. i lay in bed awaiting eleanor to fall asleep, listening to her breathing, sighing and grunting, meanwhile i am blogging in my head. i run through the days events, registering the happenings. i have every intention of sitting at this computer and putting my thoughts on "paper" its just that, well, it rarely happens. i'm tired, really tired and by the time i have juggled every one's happiness all day long, the few moments of silence i do have, i like to spend doing nothing.

nothing at all.

i've enlisted the help of some friends to keep me on task. tara horn, i know you're out there and i appreciate the effort. in fact, because of you, i am sitting here tonight forcing myself to do something productive. i mean, after all, i started this for my kids as a record of even the mundane and i am failing miserably at keeping it up. i have the best of intentions of course, but remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intent. you may have a heart of gold, but then again, so does a hard boiled egg. (i guess what i am saying, let this be today's lesson! follow through with your intent!)

the other thing about my writing, is that is has to be fueled by emotion. perhaps i should have made better use of that journalism scholarship to mizzou so many years ago, i might have learned how to just write. its not that i don't suffer from a wide range of emotions on a daily basis, its just finding the time and the words. the three of you provide ample material, don't get me wrong, i just always am looking for something outstanding and magical about our days. but tonight, something different came to mind. i was sitting in the bathtub, my perennial think tank, when i came across a book titled "the gift of an ordinary day."

hmm, i thought to myself and recollected over our day. it was ordinary, like most days, full of preschool, errand running, coffee with a friend, a play date, naps, dinner and baths. but the more i think about it, the more blessed it all seems to be. its not often that i, that we as human beings, really sit back and count our blessings. there are extraordinary things that happen in micro burst through out the day, today and every day. take for instance, the fact that grandma and grandpa are staying with us right now until they find a new house in springfield and the freedom and ease that brings to every one's lives. i marveled today at how productive i am with a "nanny" at the house. i was checking things off my list and we scooted out the door on time, when we should have been late because we had extra hands on deck to help us do so.

its so nice to have them here, it brings an element of warmth and happiness into our home. the effort they put forth in getting to know the three of you is outstanding! they like you, they really, really like you. i can see the joy in their eyes that differs from my childhood, its more carefree and sacred. my father acts like a completely different man than the one i grew up with; sometimes i am embarrassed for him at his goofiness and how far he will go to get a laugh out of you. its a really charming quality in my dad and its nice to see him in this light. vivian is a real mamaw's girl, when her stubbornness will allow it. everything now is "vivi do it" "let me do it" "you go 'way" and my all time favorite, "NO!" *sigh* mom and dad get a real kick at what a chip off the old block you both are, telling me countless times that your stubbornness and hard-headed-ness is my payback. *sigh again* but i am thinking if the two of you are my penance right now, then sweet baby eleanor is my reward. i could not ask for a better baby, she is so mild mannered and easy. she has been sleeping in 7 hour stretches the last few nights which is remarkable for only being 9 weeks old. jack was about 15 weeks old before that happened and vivian was nearly 7 months! a very loooonnnnnng 7 months.

we are gearing up for our biggest and best month of the year, october. vivian turns the big TWO next week, i can hardly believe it! then we have uncle tim's 30th, jack's 4th and halloween. there is something going on all of the time and its going to be an extraordinarily good month for us, i just know it.

even if i dont blog as frequently as i should, just know that i am constantly burning these memories to my brain! i love you when we are doing big, exciting things and i love you when you are "helping" me fold the laundry. thank you for being my little gifts today and every day!

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