where has the time gone? like you, my little blonde flash, i have blinked and it has passed! it seems as if just yesterday, it was january, your daddy and i were in miami and we were anxiously waiting out our two weeks to see if our most recent fertility treatment had worked. i only had one good potential egg, so the doctor was skeptical and our chances didn't look great. although i was supposed to give it a full 14 days, i started taking pregnancy tests at day 10, staring at them hoping to see two lines. finally, when it was nearly time for us to return home, i thought i caught a faint trace of a second line. i ran down lincoln rd. to the closest pharmacy and this time was wise enough to buy the digital tests, that read "pregnant" and "not pregnant." imagine my elation when my entire package of three all screamed "PREGNANT!" to me! i was so happy that i didn't even remind returning to missouri's cold winter.
it was a miserable pregnancy, not unlike the other two. we were living in a rental house while we renovated ashland house, so daddy spent most nights over there working. it was just jack and i, and he spent lots of time patiently waiting while i puked or laid on the floor with a washcloth on my head. it was a very long 40 weeks. at one of my ultrasounds the sonographer said "oh look, he's holding his foot." i was just certain that you were a boy. i mean, 100% certain that you were going to be a boy. in my dreams, you had dark hair and looked just like jack. as huge as i felt i was equally certain that you were going to out weighs his 8'3" oz mark, too. imagine my surprise when this tiny, white-blonde headed little baby GIRL popped out!
i went into labor very early in the morning, around 4:30. i remembered laboring so long with jack and being so hungry, that despite doctor's warnings, i got up and ate a bowl of cereal. i showered, did my hair, shaved and sent daddy to work. i fixed jack breakfast and monitored my contractions and finally around 11 i decided maybe it was time to make the trek to kansas city. we arrived at the hospital around 11:45, i was dilated to about a 4. (the same 4 i had been waddling around at for the previous three weeks, no less!) i thought things were fairly steady, sent your daddy to get lunch while grandpa stayed with me. in a matter of thirty minutes i went from a 4 to a 7 and i was most certain that i was going to deliver my baby with my father's help! yikes! we called randy and put the full court press on the anesthesia for my epidural.
you were born moments after grandma and uncle tim arrived, around 2:00 in the afternoon. i cried when they said you were a girl and gasped when i saw how tiny, how blonde and how perfect you were. 7 lbs 6 oz - everything present and accounted for- except for that ONE thing i was expecting! *wink* you were so petite and i could hardly put you down. i had been blessed with a boy and now a girl, and you were both healthy. what more could a parent ask for?
its amazing to me how clearly that all seems despite two years passing and the addition of baby eleanor. you too, have had to endure the bouts of me vomiting and laying on the floor with a cold washcloth. at times i have felt really guilty about all of this but neither of you seem any worse for the wear. in the past year, you have managed to not only blossom but flourish.
youv'e become an incredibly independent little creature! your latest catch phrases are "i do it" "vivi do it" "let me do it" and "you, go 'way"--- your grandparents tell me you are a chip off the old independent block and i secretly couldn't be more proud! i appreciate and respect your independence most of the time- a little less when it involves vivi doing it herself with the carseat and us being in a hurry! your essentially potty trained with the occasional accident. i have chosen to keep you in your crib a while longer because i like the containment factor. i was telling grandma today that my biggest fear of moving you to a big girl bed, is that your room will look like poltergeist in the morning. you have a habit of emptying your chest of drawers, the laundry, the baby wipes and whatever else you can find. you are in a real stage of cause and effect, experimentation. you love to see what happens if i do this! your curiosity makes you charming, if not a constant mess to clean up after.
you are indeed my busy little bug! i call you the blonde flash and have the damnedest time catching a picture of you. i think i am poised and ready to go and you are off! faster than my shutter! you have a mischievous smile and already understand sarcasm. you are bound to be a funny girl, as you already crack up daddy and me. you must always have jewlrey on, big hair bows- preferably pink, you love shoes and want to pick out your own clothes. you dance like no one is watching and i hope that never changes. your favorite song is benny and the jets and i think that makes you an insanely cool two year old.
i could go on and on about two year old vivian; your a quirky, silly, little thing and you give me plenty of material. i have said it before, but i am so grateful to jack for making me a mother and to you, my sweet girl, for making me a better mother. i never knew my heart had such capacity to love some one, something as much as i do you. you are perfect and i love you so very much.
happy, happy birthday buggy girl.
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