sh*t happens

they say shit happens. today, it happened a lot at my house.

my absolute worst fear, aside from bodily harm to one of my children, has always been the independent diaper removal scenerio. i should have known it would happen with my rotten, little blue eyed girl.

she was awfully quiet after family nap time today and i thought she had fallen asleep. finally, i heard her chirping so i thought i would go get her. opening the door i immediatly knew she had pooped her pants, the stench was horrific. as i walked closer to the crib she sweetly said "oh, no, MESS!"

OH NO! MESS!?!?!?!?

her hands, feet, hair, face and entire body were crusted with baby shit. it was all over the crib, the bedding, the wall, her bunny. dis-gust-ing. she just sat there looking at me, waiting for a reaction. i was literally speechless. my worst parenting fear had come to fruition. *deep breath* i had not anticipated the hour long clean up procedure that was to follow, i had to scrub every inch of her nasty little body. by the grace of God, rothy was on his way home from atlanta and was nearly at the house. he stripped the bed and started everything in the washing machine while i wrangled the poop machine.

she seemed so smug and proud of herself when i helped her tell her daddy what she had done. this child is going to do me in, i am just certain of it. from now on, no more unfinished basements for vivian. she is going to be locked and loaded in a onsie until she is 12. i might even start duct taping her diapers when she is left alone to her own devices.

as if that weren't enough fun for the day, the dog also decided this was also an appropriate time to shit in the hallway. even more awesomeness. it's days like today that i am really thankful to be married to a pseudo janitor that doesn't get grossed out by bodily functions.

oh calgon, you cannot take me far enough away tonight!