Thursday, February 10, 2011

all-day sickness

i sat down to blog about the week and googled "funny morning sickness quotes." then i got to thinking, there really is NOTHING funny about morning sickness and it turns out that NO ONE else thinks its funny because my search turned up very little. the funniest thing i found was "if men got pregnant, morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem." no. . . kidding. . .

when they say motherhood isn't for the faint at heart, they ain't kidding, folks. its tough before you even really have to feed or handle the baby.

this week has been particularly rough and i am totally puzzled by that. i am entering week 14, which for most people means the trouble is passing. i feel like i am in the throws of it, right now. i must warn you now, if you aren't interested in reading about me bitching about pregnancy, you should stop reading and maybe resume in late august. the subjects then will mostly involve me bitching about lack of sleep and wondering where in the hell my nanny is? this is MY soapbox to leave behind to my children.

morning sickness is nothing new to me- it was nearly unbearable while pregnant with jack and i landed myself in the hospital on a few occasions. dehydration and malnourishment became my common bed fellows. (as well as hot dogs and dunkin donuts)  it was much easier to be miserable back then. i quit my job and went to the drs office for weekly iv fluids. i had no one else to worry about but me and the baby. with vivian i was equally as sick, but in a different way. i made sure to rest when jack did and we hid out a lot. one time i got out of the shower, jack had clearly pooped his pants while i was in there. the thought of having to change that diaper sent me into a tail spin, but there was no one else to do it, so i rallied. i tied a towel around my face and held my breath. sadly, i didn't make it through without puking on him, the door and the floor. there i am standing with one hand on a naked baby covered in vomit and poo, the other hand covering my trembling face. this is when the dog came in and decided to help with "clean up." at that point, i threw jack in the bathtub, called randy for reinforcement and curled in a ball on the bathroom floor and cried. what else do you do when you can't take care of yourself or anyone else, for that matter? oh the misery!

this time around the nausea is all day, coming and going in waves. gum is generally a good thing to have around, it helps get me through. this time i have gotten so tired of chewing gum i have turned to candy. i have an entire candy store in my purse at all times. by the end of the day i feel like i have little sugar sweaters on my teeth. it is so gross. i'm implementing a new routine of vitamin b6 three times a day and unisom in the evenings. an "enlightened" friends just sold me on this and at this point, i am willing to try anything.

even jack, in his 3 year old state of mind, is catching on to the "illness." this morning he was coughing and i asked him if he was getting sick and he replied with "oh yes, mommy, i am. the baby hopped in MY tummy last night." wouldn't that be grand if the first little bugger that made me sick could share the burden of the third little bugger? additionally this week, jack said to me, "mommy, you have to turn this tv off, i am watching WAY too many cartoons." okay, so tv is usually limited around here but these are desperate days. i can sing almost all the monologues to almost every cartoon on nick and sprout. sadly, so can my 3 year old and 16 month old.

on a separate but related female issue in this house hold, miss vivian is either growing or having a wicked bout of PMS. she is a ravenous bottomless pit who is tired, emotional and brought to tears often. her outbursts are frequent, loud and very dramatic. one minute she is fine the next minute she is in a slobbering mess on the floor. she shakes her hand at me and jack and yells "no, no, no" for no apparent reason. i hope this stage passes soon but i have a feeling i might be in it for the long haul with my little drama queen.

oh yes, i do believe she is going to give me fits. during those times, i am going to think about how sweet and peaceful she can be. . . when she is sleeping. 

the unisom is kicking in and this sleepy momma is going to hit the hay. its a race to see how many hours i can get in before my bladder wakes me up to go to the bathroom. until tomorrow, kids, i love you even if i do have to go through all of this to get you here. just remember all the pain and suffering when you are picking out my nursing home. 


  1. I laughed and laughed about you changing Jack's diaper. I remember just after Bailey was born when I came down with violent stomach flu. I could not take care of either one of us. I had to call in a backup.
    Beth G.

  2. Hope you are feeling better soon!